Some days I have to tap into my "special skills" to navigate life with two mini-men. It's on the long weekends when Jahred is working that survival isn't guaranteed and it occurs to me how different life might be if I were lugging two princesses around the metro.
Are you a boy mom? Have a few skills on your own resume? Perhaps we have a few in common.
1. BOY MOMS CAN - Tell the difference between a real burp and a fake one. This skill is crucial when deciding what to punish for. A case of the sillies is one thing. Bad manners is another entirely.
2. BOY MOMS KNOW - Unlike the refs in the major leagues, boy moms can referee a fight from a different room or even a different floor of the house. We use two things: prior knowledge of the teams tactics and our ears.
3. BOY MOMS GIVE ADVICE - We know how to aim a penis without even having one. Hips forward, belly back, hands placed...appropriately, FOCUS on the target!
4. BOY MOMS ARE BRILLIANT - Memorization of Lego "maps" (aka directions) in the event of another boys annihilating an entire fleet of spaceships.
5. BOY MOMS CAN COOK - We know the bulk it can take to feed an army...of 2.
6. BOY MOMS CAN ACT - We can fake interest in space ships, "what-if's," ridiculous inventions and "This is what I'd do if I ever met a T-Rex."
7. BOY MOMS HAVE PATIENCE - We know what it means to watch the SAME MOVIE EVERY DAY.
8. BOY MOMS ADMIT - We are powerless without a transportation device with STRAPS. (Preferably a 5-point harness.)
9. BOY MOMS HAVE LESS - We know what breakable things we can truly live without.
10. BOY MOMS HAVE MORE HEART - It's our responsibility to teach a mini-man to be a loving father, partner, friend or whatever he chooses to be in life. Whether it's letting your son play with dolls (which sometimes become involved in wrestling matches) or telling your son, "Yes, we can save these shoes for your kids." It's all about soul with little boys and not breaking their spirit.
(Of course when it comes to their dreams of living in a nudist colony and pooping only in your yard...those dreams need to be squashed like bug on a windshield...no mercy.)
Happy Boy Summer.
Happy Girl Summer too.
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