 About two weeks ago I was driving around Saint Cloud with my brother when my stomach started screaming! Suddenly it realized how empty it was, and at 10:21am I realized it was asking for only one food – a McDonald's Egg McMuffin – hold the meat. "10:21," I said to Tyler. "Do you think I can make it?" Referring to the deadline of 10:30, upon which McDonald's ends their breakfast offerings. "There's no way Jen," he tried to let me down easy. Regardless of his nay-saying attitude, I sped through neighborhoods and took one very wise shortcut. At 10:27 I was in the drive-thru, placing my order. "One Egg McMuffin please. Hold the meat!" "Would you like to make that a meal?" "Sure." "Ty, do you want the orange juice." "Yeah, for sure." We pulled up to the window and I was a bit concerned about the wait. One, two, three minutes and we're still waiting to be helped. Finally the window opens and she hands out the orange juice. That was all, just the juice. Tyler began gulping the yummy McDonald's sugar-syrup and I continued to wait. I was salivating and my stomach was churning. I could taste the sandwich. Maybe four minutes later the window opens again. "I'm sorry, we're out of muffins. Would you like to order a lunch sandwich instead?" What I wanted to say to the lady was this: "What part of 'hold the meat' leads you to believe that I'm a carnivore. No, I would not like a lunch sandwich, I risked my life and driving record to get here three minutes early so I could enjoy just a bit of quasi-vegetarian junk food." What I actually said to her was a tearful, "No, I'll just take a refund." Unfortunately, she only refunded me the price of the sandwich and failed to return the money for the "meal," which I would never have ordered on the false assumption that they would be able to make my sandwich. I was in a McDepression for the rest of the day...I mean month. The best thing about a New Year is that you get a bit more crafty. With my free time this morning, Axel and I did a bit of breakfast shopping and I've come up with the most delightful substitute for my daily-craved McMuffin. Here's the recipe: Butter Salt 1 egg 1 piece of American Cheese 1 English Muffin Directions: Simultaneously fry the egg in a bit of butter and toast the English muffin. Butter the muffin. Salt the egg. Apply American cheese while the egg is still in the pan and allow to melt just a bit. Slide the egg/cheese onto the muffin. Bite. While this may not seem revolutionary to you, I have just fulfilled two of the most common New Years resolutions (not necessarily mine): lose weight (as my version of the McBrunch has got to be a bit healthier than the fast-food-giant version), and save money (my McVegetarian costs about 60 cents, theirs is almost $3). The best thing of all is that I no longer have to make it to the golden arches by 10:30. I'll be McMuffining anytime of the day for the whole of 2012. Cheers! 
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 Is it only mothers that feel a bit of relief following Christmas? With the hype, build-up and child-prep necessary, it seems post-holiday-war I have nothing left to do and am absolutely fine with the silent and mundane once again.
Spending Monday entirely on the couch and the rest of the week tearing down decorations I find myself with a pre-Christmas-clean house and now what? Surprisingly, although I thought Etsy business would crash after Christmas, it has kept up at a steady clip. I'm once again about a dozen orders behind and beginning to think that's the way I like it. Always something to occupy my mind and perpetuate the "career" I have created for myself. As for New Years, we are planless. Jahred works the weekend and Axel and I will undoubtedly be playing one continuous round of "cars." With so much accomplished for my family in the last 12 months, we'll be grateful to be within our own four walls, in our own warm beds as the ball drops over Times Square. Maybe the best thing about closing out one productive calendar year is the glittering hope that the next one could, just maybe, be even better! After last minute Etsy orders, and the elves being assigned a few final tasks, I believe our household is ready for Christmas. We're taking off early today, making plenty of stops on our way to Christmas, and are leaving a few detailed instructions for Santa. I think the big guy will find us. The other day we prepared Santa's "favorite" cookies and today we set them out. My only advice to Mr. Claus is, "HURRY, the elves around here are hungry on their way out the door!" Merry Christmas to all! Below you'll find your Christmas card, just for you, my faithful readers! 
Perhaps my favorite day or the year has arrived! The day when we do something totally ridiculous as a family and spend a bit of cash on pure happiness. Today of course is my dog's Birthday! Happy Birthday, Oscar, old chap! Turning 6 is a momentous occasion for a dog. It could be considered mid-life for some, but of course my dog will live forever. With grey fur peeking through around the muzzle and a little "hitch in his giddiyup (from a previous hip fracture)," my earnest Beagle is a little worse for wear, but loved just the same. Today we began the festivities by baking a batch of Oscar-friendly Birthday Muffins. Complete with frosting and a loving lick from Axel, Oscar was pleased-as-pie to feast on his own private delight. Our next stop, as on each of his birthdays. was the pet store. We used a "birthday coupon" to score a deal on a new brain-teaser/treat-dispenser. Watching him lounge on the sofa this evening, I'm noticing a shit-eating-grin. I think he enjoyed his very special sixth birthday. Oscars Birthday Cupcake Recipe: 1 cup white flour 1 tsp baking soda 1/4 cup peanut butter 1/4 cup vegetable oil 1 cup shredded carrots 1 tsp vanilla 1/3 cup honey 1 egg *Mix ingredients in order above. Heat oven to 350 degrees and bake in a muffin tin for approx. 12-15 minutes. Makes roughly 9 muffins. Oscars Frosting Recipe: 6 oz. softened cream cheese 1.5 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp honey *Mix well and frost cupcakes generously. I recommend giving one to the birthday dog and freezing the rest. It's always great to have treats on-hand for...say...Valentines Day...Easter...Halloween. :) 
Post muffin. I think he was about to cry.
 It's come to the attention of my Inbox that something crazy is happening to my Etsy shop. Not long after the infamous "Black Friday," my shop must have started on FIRE! If I've been absent in all other areas of my life, it's because my presence in the sewing studio is more of a captivity! You may find me wandering aimlessly through errands or making a preschool pick-up covered completely in thread. Don't get me wrong, this is just the sort of turn-of-events we Etsy artists dream of, and it's a total blast, but I'm afraid I'll be burning the midnight oil to get all these "guaranteed by Christmas" orders to their appropriate "givers" by the 24th! If you've been stalking my shop, contemplating a guitar strap or kit for someone on your own list...I would advise you to shop sooner than later. With nearly 18 straps going out per day, I'm still 33 behind, and the list is growing! I'VE GONE VIRAL! 
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