Ever feel like you should have gone to law school?
Here's the short version: don't ask questions you don't already know the answers to!
Me (after long weekend alone with needy kids): What did I get to do for myself today?
Axel: You did get to knit. :/
I was knitting...
while on hold for 1.5+ hours with a toy company over a faulty part...
while instructing Oliver on how to complete a puzzle...
while cleaning up lunch and listening to the washing machine chug through a load of towels...
after cleaning up dog barf...
while waiting for the dog to come home after being let out by the kids...
I was knitting for about 5 minutes during that time.
What was I knitting? An overdue mitten for Axel's very special piano teacher.
I guess that was the one self-pleasing moment of my day. Sorry I asked.
Ice Skating at the Oval this weekend.
I hope that you have something to celebrate – and that you are satisfied with whatever the outcome.
My wish for you is a moment of peace and a sense of fellowship.
May your years-end be merry and may life bless you with unexpected adventure in the coming 12 months.
- Me and my little Deers
You never have been a very nice dog. You're snippy with kids – which isn't real popular in society even though they might deserve it – and you make my sheets smell something awful.
Sometimes I think when you run away to piss off the neighbors you will never come back and I might be just a tiny bit relieved by that prospect. What I particularly detest about you is that you're a deep sleeper and when you're startled awake by a noise inaudible to humans you go on a barking spree and have been known to wake the small people which is another problem entirely.
You have always been incredibly handsome. There is something about your eyes that causes strangers to believe you are still a puppy even though you are slightly gray. Your paws are petite making you appear refined – no idea why.
I know that we haven't always given you the most dog-friendly home – particularly in the last nearly-eight years when we have introduced children into your life because I think given the choice you would be more solitary.
You are 10 now which isn't quite 102 in dog years but Axel thinks it is so we'll go with that. This isn't your golden birthday so you only got one present but in 2 years if you're still topside (if you know what I mean) I'll throw you a ridiculous dog party and invite lots of people which you may or may not like.
Some days I value your opinion above all others. Most days I'm sort of glad you come back from terrorizing the neighborhood. At least a small part of each day you are my favorite person.
Happy Birthday Old Sport
So the intention behind the advent calendar has become clear to me. It was a clever child who was trying to come up with a solution for the sugar detox following Halloween.
"I need a guaranteed source of candy to get through the short days of winter," clever child thought.
"You poor sweet thing, let's use a religious reason to spoil ourselves for the next 24 days," said sucker parent.
GUILTY...well at least of the spoiling...my reason for the season may not be as pious.
"Oliver! Where does your trash go?" said I as he littered a shredded York Peppermint Patty across the living room.
"In the Menards garbage," replied Oliver...shiny foil surrounding his bare feet.
WTF? Inquire further.
Apparently the only place he has seen me deposit trash is in the receptacle outside Menards when I gather all the shit and food wrappers from our van (including the stash in the drivers side door which is embarrassing at the least) and throw it all away before entering the store. We go to Menards a lot.
As I did my morning rounds today opening up curtains and swallowing my shock at the likes of Axels floor – I notice an abundance of trash. Every day. There is trash.
I made a point of modeling waste disposal. It may not have been as glamorous as throwing things out at Menards...but I'm hoping this new revelation will help keep our floors wrapper-free through the Holy Blessed season of Advent Calendar.
Your house looking messy this season? Time to point out the obvious – Menards isn't the only place with a candy wrapper can.
Photos from the Hudson Lighting - 2015
NEW - I'm searchable!
Grab my button: