I have a tiny face. It's true, the actual diameter of my face is about the same as Axels. When my body is at average weight, my face looks petite...if I gain so much as a pound, my face appears miniscule.
The reason I bring this up is because it's the reason behind my mothers constant ragging on the size of my sunglasses. She is always saying how large my glasses are...but truthfully mother; I get them from the "average - just above child sized glasses - section". I AM AWARE of what the trendy HUGE glasses would do to my face!
Anyhow, today we, the dog, Axel and I, were strolling to the post office after nearly an entire day of zero adult conversation and lots of thoughts in my head. At the moment we reached the summit of the large hill on our walk, my sweaty nose got me thinking; "does the combination of my sweaty nose, tiny face and large sunglasses mean I could lick my sunglasses?"
Seriously, if you feel the need to commit me after that last sentence, be my guest. Cooked meals and a padded room sound glorious about now.
Anyhow, one can't just think thoughts like this without acting on them, so of course I tried to lick my glasses. I did not succeed.
My friends, I did not stop there. I slowly inched my glasses down the slope of my nose until at last I could lick them. I would have enjoyed a sick sense of satisfaction if it weren't for the porch full of people to my right, whom I didn't notice until after the above crime was committed.
How crazy I must have looked to them. In the time since my walk, I have contemplated taking a picture of myself in the licking position just so you all could enjoy the scene the rest of Mankato had today, but I thought I would "google" an image instead.
Let it be known, that of the billions of images on "images.google.com", there is NOT ONE of a person licking their sunglasses. I stand alone.
NEW - I'm searchable!
Grab my button: