You never have been a very nice dog. You're snippy with kids – which isn't real popular in society even though they might deserve it – and you make my sheets smell something awful.
Sometimes I think when you run away to piss off the neighbors you will never come back and I might be just a tiny bit relieved by that prospect. What I particularly detest about you is that you're a deep sleeper and when you're startled awake by a noise inaudible to humans you go on a barking spree and have been known to wake the small people which is another problem entirely.
You have always been incredibly handsome. There is something about your eyes that causes strangers to believe you are still a puppy even though you are slightly gray. Your paws are petite making you appear refined – no idea why.
I know that we haven't always given you the most dog-friendly home – particularly in the last nearly-eight years when we have introduced children into your life because I think given the choice you would be more solitary.
You are 10 now which isn't quite 102 in dog years but Axel thinks it is so we'll go with that. This isn't your golden birthday so you only got one present but in 2 years if you're still topside (if you know what I mean) I'll throw you a ridiculous dog party and invite lots of people which you may or may not like.
Some days I value your opinion above all others. Most days I'm sort of glad you come back from terrorizing the neighborhood. At least a small part of each day you are my favorite person.
Happy Birthday Old Sport
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