About two weeks ago I was driving around Saint Cloud with my brother when my stomach started screaming! Suddenly it realized how empty it was, and at 10:21am I realized it was asking for only one food – a McDonald's Egg McMuffin – hold the meat.
"10:21," I said to Tyler. "Do you think I can make it?" Referring to the deadline of 10:30, upon which McDonald's ends their breakfast offerings.
"There's no way Jen," he tried to let me down easy.
Regardless of his nay-saying attitude, I sped through neighborhoods and took one very wise shortcut. At 10:27 I was in the drive-thru, placing my order.
"One Egg McMuffin please. Hold the meat!"
"Would you like to make that a meal?"
"Ty, do you want the orange juice."
"Yeah, for sure."
We pulled up to the window and I was a bit concerned about the wait. One, two, three minutes and we're still waiting to be helped. Finally the window opens and she hands out the orange juice. That was all, just the juice. Tyler began gulping the yummy McDonald's sugar-syrup and I continued to wait. I was salivating and my stomach was churning. I could taste the sandwich.
Maybe four minutes later the window opens again.
"I'm sorry, we're out of muffins. Would you like to order a lunch sandwich instead?"
What I wanted to say to the lady was this: "What part of 'hold the meat' leads you to believe that I'm a carnivore. No, I would not like a lunch sandwich, I risked my life and driving record to get here three minutes early so I could enjoy just a bit of quasi-vegetarian junk food."
What I actually said to her was a tearful, "No, I'll just take a refund."
Unfortunately, she only refunded me the price of the sandwich and failed to return the money for the "meal," which I would never have ordered on the false assumption that they would be able to make my sandwich. I was in a McDepression for the rest of the day...I mean month.
The best thing about a New Year is that you get a bit more crafty. With my free time this morning, Axel and I did a bit of breakfast shopping and I've come up with the most delightful substitute for my daily-craved McMuffin.
Here's the recipe:
1 piece of American Cheese
1 English Muffin
Simultaneously fry the egg in a bit of butter and toast the English muffin.
Butter the muffin. Salt the egg.
Apply American cheese while the egg is still in the pan and allow to melt just a bit.
Slide the egg/cheese onto the muffin.
While this may not seem revolutionary to you, I have just fulfilled two of the most common New Years resolutions (not necessarily mine): lose weight (as my version of the McBrunch has got to be a bit healthier than the fast-food-giant version), and save money (my McVegetarian costs about 60 cents, theirs is almost $3).
The best thing of all is that I no longer have to make it to the golden arches by 10:30. I'll be McMuffining anytime of the day for the whole of 2012. Cheers!
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