I may have mentioned a few posts ago that I would be taking back control of my space here and focusing once again on what put me on the inter-webs...the craving to write. As I type this, my brain is firing on all cylinders while I prepare dinner, act as circus ringmaster and try to shut down certain parts of my brain that are JUST PLAIN IRRITATED by what's all going on here. It's times like these, right before I feel my rubber band SNAP (as I often do when the noise around here gets overwhelming), I wonder: what would be the best parenting move right now?
While pondering what the BEST POSSIBLE strategy and outcome would be, I can't help but revert to my nurtured beliefs - the advice constantly thrown at me from parents and strangers alike - and my brain quotes, "Just ignore it." IGNORE IT? How the hell are you supposed to ignore anything when it's right in front of you.
Here is what the logophile (person who LOVES words/speech) has to say about all this. Does "ignorance" come from "ignore" or vice versa? To me they are two completely different things. Ignorance to me suggests a complete lack of knowledge, as if I had no idea that my boys sound like baboons in a feeding frenzy...all the time. Ignorance would suggest that I have no knowledge of the clock or the fact that my hungry zoo will start dismembering me if I don't produce sustenance. Ignorance is not something you can honestly attain in parenting.
"Ignore" then is almost a waste of a letters. Ignore suggests more of an "in passing" - something you may not be completely "ignorant" of, but something you are choosing not to pay attention to. THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. You have to at first notice the act/thing/annoyance in order to decide you will ignore it. I DON'T GET IT?!
Is it the children I should ignore? That is physically impossible. Whatever the "annoying thing of the moment" is, they do it to get some sort of reaction. While attempting to "ignore," I will never be able to "Keep Calm and Carry On" because the little clones notice ANY change in my behavior. Maybe I flinch or re-route to avoid them, either way, my body and mind react in a way that is different than before and thus I AM NOT IGNORING THEM. THEY CAN TELL.
For example: Say my FRIEND was driving a car - facing the windshield, listening to the radio. Child A is making disgusting mouth noises in the back seat to make Child B laugh hysterically. Mouth noises just happen to be my FRIENDS detonator switch. It drives her mad. Now - she is facing away from the children, not expected to be minding them, however - her shoulders begin to tense (which children can smell) and she may subconsciously turn up the music or sing louder. She may breathe a bit more aggressively and send lasers through her eyes (the ones in the back of her head) and right up til the moment she snaps the children will be having a grand old time while she is stewing in agony.
I'm going to give this FRIEND some advice. IGNORING gets you nowhere. If your life is as easy as turning on the IGNORANT switch - you are truly blessed - stick with that plan. If you are like me and will bottle it until you burst, just skip the games and PUNISH from the get-go. PUNISH, PUNISH, PUNISH. It will take you half the time to get rid of this weeks irritations if you are up-front. Next week will bring something new - recognize, react accordingly, and then REST!
What's your philosophy on ignore vs ignorance? T
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