survival of the driest

Oh wow, I had no idea my week would turn out this way.

May I be so vein as to say, "my kid is soooo smart", actually smarter than I?!  Ok, so on Monday, I thought perhaps we would succeed at this potty training thing; but I had no idea that just like getting pregnant, it would turn out to be that experiment in Organic Chemistry that actually worked for ONCE!

Seriously, Axel may not be the most graceful, he is known to swear like a sailor (or maybe his mother), and when it comes to sleeping in his own bed, he sucks.  Going on the potty, this kid gets.

It's all business with this boy.  After a rough 2 days, we now have 3 dry naps and 2 days with only 1 accident (which was actually my fault).  It's like his 23 month old brain is just like "simple...what else you got Mom?"

The routine goes like this:
Axel - "potty" - does a little dance
Me - "Oh, ok, lets go." - bring him to the potty with book, shut door (upon his strict request)
Axel - "Oh wow." - leaves bathroom
Me - "Awesome.  High five." - flush the evidence

5 days of homebound nudity has really paid off and we may just be over the hump.  Don't get me wrong, we still need to master peeing in public toilets and leaving the house for more than an hour, but really, wow.

Today Axel and I ventured out on a solo mission in "undens" (his word for underwear).  After the captivity that was this week, the fridge was looking like a forgotten land.  We traveled to Cub and made it through the entire store loop.  I even took a HUGE gamble, doubling back for some forgotten items.  I carefully remembered to NOT place the food under where he was sitting, just in case.

When we approached the checkout however, things weren't looking so positive.  On a Friday morning, let me tell you how many lanes are open at your local Cub foods, ONE.  One lane and the daunting self-checkout.  I KNEW I couldn't do it myself while also keeping an eye on Axels bum, I chose the 1 open lane.

Unfortunately we found ourselves behind Grandma who had NO idea we were potty training and apparently had ALL day to do her shopping.  She had the clerk paging through the ad looking for a mysterious SALE on black olives.  "THEY'RE LIKE 75 CENTS A CAN...MOVE ALONG."  She was completely oblivious to my broken record of "keep your pants dry" growing louder with each passing minute.

After barely surviving that woman, the clerk looked at me and said, "Can you hang on a minute?"

"Um, NO, this kid is about to piss ALL OVER."

Not seeing the death look I was bestowing onto her, she turned around and proceeded to talk to a co-worker about sending a Birthday card around for Bill in the stock room.  Necessary??? **

No thanks to the lane 4 clerk, Axel made it though the store dry.  I lost a few years from my life, but all's well that ends well right?

Don't forget to sign up for my Potty GIVEAWAY in the previous post!  You don't even need to have experience in potty training, you only need to be potty trained yourself...just sign up for goodness sake!

**Just for the record, I don't expect every citizen of this country to bow down to me and my child; I just now have a better understanding of people in a hurry.  They aren't always trying to be rude, they may be on the verge of public defecation!